subtruth

Hi city kids! It’s green economical patriotic blog posting time! Since none of you has ever seen any example of that animal the Dude is confounding a nihilistic ferret with and many of you think Swiss people are rich because they stay out of the Euro zone, Uncle Klav is going to educate you with some fresh (in)sights. Now that the world is burning around us, these are essential concerns.

First, and most important: marmots.

Marmot plays sentinel. Can you see it?

Of course you can’t. Here it is:

Stealthy! Fortunately, its Dragunov is optional.

Moar marmots:

marmot from far, looking to the left:

marmot from far, looking to the right:

marmot from far above (sunbathing):

marmot from fairly near (check out that phat ass!):

marmot on a roof (wtf):

Also, i spotted a dangerous anarchist, obviously planning some scheme to disturb our orderly green pastures:

I may be living abroad, i remain a good citizen and immediately informed the authorities.

Talking about authorities: this year’s summer drama in Switzerland was the currency, the Franc CHF, which has gained over 20% in value over the Euro in a year. This is bad for Swiss exports but good for marmots, as there are less tourists in the Alps. Hardly anyone can afford this country anymore, and the minority who does does not go where marmots are. Subterranean victory! So what are the authorities doing to help the over 30% of the economy that is suffering from that? Nothing. When asked, the government will forward the question to the national bank (BNS), arguing that it is caring for Switzerland’s monetary policy since aeons (which is a bit crazy in itself). On the other hand, the BNS plays dumb, saying it is only responsible for the stability of prices on the inner market and can’t influence exchange rates – as if, for example, selling some of the insane amounts of gold it has (the origin of some remaining dubious) would not be possible.

I hear you begging to differ: that’s capitalism, the State does not and should not intervene. In a way, you may be right. And you will be excused because you probably don’t belong to those preaching this all the time just to bail out big, mismanaged and outdated corporations with tax money when the? weather changes. But you will agree, capitalism is free market and competition, right? So how about this:

While i was denouncing dangerous anarchists, readers of Le Temps, on their side, started reporting many more products that are massively cheaper on the other side of the border, that is, where the supposedly ill Euro currency reigns.

Welcome to Switzerland’s pseudo-capitalist paradise, where cartels use the invisible/nonexistent Hand of the Market to slap you in the face, all year long. But rejoice, Swiss Folks, you just received another AAA rating from some criminal organization that is co-responsible for worldwide financial ruin.

Did i mention hardly anyone can afford this country anymore?

Anyway, here is an universal truth for you:

For marmots are way cooler than you and i, alone for the fact that they sleep all winter.

Edit: since i wrote most of this text on a mountain top about a month ago, things have moved a little: the BNS sort of acted, and it did not work much. Now an idea that was still deemed satanical a month ago starts to make its way: tying the CHF to the EUR. Bet if that will help.